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Ripley had always been a special girl because of her condition. Most people would see the absence of a leg as a curse, yet she came to embrace it once she realized a few adjustments to her prosthetic could make her the fastest thing alive. All it took was installing a jet engine and painting it blue for her to break the sound barrier on a whim. Unfortunately, the speed was so high that it ripped open a hole in time that caused Emily to become an eight year old physically again. Ripley apologized and now treats her like a little sister because she is a nice person. Emily is fine with this because she never had a chance to be innocent. Also, she now has octopus tentacles since she forgot how to hide the fact she is an octopus pretending to be a human.

One day Ripley was doing her usual fast around the world travels to see if she could undo what happened to Emily. She made her way to an ancient temple where bad guys buried an ancient evil over 9000 years ago. Ripley set off booby trap like Indiana Jones did causing her to run so fast that she unleashed the ancient evil and made it wake up. That ancient evil was a gold skinned person who had pink hair just like Ripley. Gold girl punched the rock into millions of pieces while Ripley’s built-in speaker system played ‘RULES OF NATURE’. She couldn’t be evil since she had helped Ripley. “Thanks! You have pink hair just like I do… Are we sisters?”

“No!” She said defiantly. “I am Claire from the lost civilization of Sodom. Now I will engage in my ultimate plan to prove that I am the greatest living thing in the world!” Somehow she had rocket skates on to compensate for her lack of a modern speed booster. “If you are the pinnacle of this modern age, then I shall have no problem taking over.” Claire pulled out a purple Chaos Emerald and teleported away. “Chaos Control!” She said laughing.

“I can’t let her gather together all of the Chaos Emeralds! She might do something really bad! I need to run back to my super secret Ripley Cave hidden under the New Jersey turnpike.” Ripley didn’t know that Claire was stealing two more Chaos Emeralds from the Illuminati Bank during her speed trip. President Obama =D looks at footage with disappointed eyes before calling Seal Team Six to capture Ripley. As far as he knew, Ripley was the only pink hair person who can go fast.

“Drop your weapon, Ripley!” The Seal Team Six members screamed from a fishing boat. Ripley slowed down to explain the ancient evil to the badass soldier boys. Unfortunately, they threw an electric fishing net over her that paralyzed her to the point of passing out. She woke up several hours ago in a helicopter flying over a major city. “I need to warn the President about Claire’s intention to steal all of the Chaos Emeralds!” The pilot was too busy watching PewdiePie anchoring the CBS Evening News to notice Ripley rip off one of the helicopter’s winglets to use as a street-snowboard. “Talk about a terrible flight! They didn’t even have a flight attendant bring peanuts!” One of the guards realized Ripley had made a radical escape; he tried in vain to shoot her as she jumped out from the helicopter.

‘City Escape’ begins to play on all of the speakers in the city once Ripley’s street-snowboard touched the ground. Everything in the city had to halt until her escape from the city was finished. She accidentally grabbed a Hoffi Garden key along the way, which would distract her after finishing the stage. Ripley loved her little Hoffi so much that it now looked exactly like her apart from the missing limb. She tried to spend as little time in the garden as possible this time, yet that only made the Hoffi’s crave hugs and affection more. The party almost made Ripley forget about the fact Claire was likely striking Fort Knox to steal the other Chaos Emeralds.

Claire’s plan to take the remaining Chaos Emeralds was like the plot of her favorite movies GoldenEye and Goldfinger. She was going to use an EMP gas on Fort Knox to hide her escape in a Eurocopter that ran on the Chaos Emeralds she had grabbed. “Stop there!” Cowboy Curtis from Pee Wee’s Playhouse screamed. He had justice in his heart and experience in stopping evil in his cowboy powers. “I don’t like people who steal.” He summoned a trench coat that he opened to reveal huge shotguns like something from the Matrix. Claire froze time so hard that even bullet time wouldn’t work. She found two more emeralds hidden in the guard tower; the last place they would have expected her to check.

Ripley left the Hoffi Garden much later to discover the entire military was waiting to take her to jail. She turned herself in as part of her ‘speed force code of honor’ hoping that the President would realize who the real evil was. Ripley put on AR glasses to occupy herself while waiting for an update from the jail guards. Suddenly, one of them opened the door. “It is time to go, Ms. Rees.” Then the guard turned into an adult version of Emily. “I was actually pretending to be younger the whole time. Things are serious now, so I need to help you directly.” Emily turned into a female version of Boba Fett to assist in the Ripley’s escape. “For the last time, Ripley, I’m NOT a female Boba Fett. It’s a character from the Star Wars Rebels cartoon.”

“Sir? Ripley has escaped from jail. What should we do?” Secret Service man told the President. “Should I call Premiere Putin to cancel the barbeque?” Just then, Claire ran into the room. “Stop there! You’re a traitor to USA, Ripley!”

“I am not the person you reference.” Claire grabbed the Presidential Seal. “I’m only here for the Chaos Emerald.” It turned out that the seal was an emerald in disguise. “Thanks for the bling.” Obama grabbed Conan the Barbarian sword from under his desk to fight for freedom. Claire summoned dynamite nunchucks to hold off the attack.

Emily led Ripley to her own secret underground base. “I need to tell you something about Claire, but that will come later. You need to wear fuku that contains the spirit of your deceased father, Gordon Ramsey. Ripley put on the fuku; suddenly feeling more powerful. The blood and dedication of her father now surged through her. “It is time that I give you the ultimate weapon in the battle of good versus evil, Ripley.” Emily handed a sheathed katana over to Ripley. “Once the katana is unsheathed, it must taste blood. If there is no one else present, then you will need to feed it.”

“Ok, I will be careful with the sword.” Ripley shot away at the speed of justice for
Washington DC.

Elsewhere, Alice was looking from shards of the Supreme Diamond on Squash Mountain. She didn’t let the fear get to her because she was creeping. Spooky skeletons didn’t scare golems. The skeletons attempted to evolve a skeleton graveler into a skeleton golem in a wasted attempt to scare Alice. “You don’t have the tools of the trade!” She equipped the sunglasses at the perfect time for the skeleton explosions to reflect in them.    

Ripley arrived in the Oval Office where the fight was still happening. “Emily told me to never use this sword unless necessary.” She reluctantly unsheathed the katana. The sword vibrated in her hands hungry for its meal of blood. The power of Gordon Ramsey made Ripley realize her proud bloodline tradition as a Highlander. “THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE… FIGHTER!” She broke up the fight to allow for the President to escape to an undisclosed location. “We meet again, Claire. Now I am going to stop you before you take the last Chaos Emerald from the Tower of London.” Japanese music began playing in the distance.

“I see you have awoken your father’s power. It won’t be enough to stop me at full power.” The friction from the earlier fight had ignited the sticks of dynamite. “You will need to hurt yourself if you don’t attack me now. I already know the limitations of the kai-tana.” Claire was about to teleport until someone grabbed her by the forearm. It was the masked woman who only called herself ‘Lightning’. “Grrr! Unhand me, you wicked defender of justice!”

“No, you must know that you can bleed. This will force you to eventually reform your ways. Hit her now, Ripley.”

“Lightning, how do you know my name?” The absence of a response reinforced how serious things were. Without a moment of hesitation, Ripley poked the tip of the sword against Claire to draw enough blood to feed the sword. Claire winced in pain as the sword took its fill. “You aren’t so powerful when your feelings of immortality are taken away!”

“I’ll steal that last emerald to make you pay for this injury!” Claire teleported out of the room before Ripley or Lightning could fight her.

“If I pull that mask off, would it be extremely embarrassing?”

“It would be emotionally painful.”

“You’re a big woman.”

“For you.” Lightning removed the mask to reveal that she had been Emily the whole time. “I had to keep my crime fighting secret a secret from you, Ripley. That’s why I put on the mask and became someone I’m not.”

“I always had a feeling, Emily. This means you can join me in fighting the ancient evil before it hurts everyone forever!”

Ricky Gervais tried foolishly to stop Claire from taking the Chaos Emerald amongst the Crown Jewels. He was permanently doomed to nothing more than the Wednesday 10:30 PM slot following South Park ^_^ my favorite show ever because of the bad words. “Now I will go to the moon where my space castle is.” The moon began to move closer to the earth in order to amplify the magnetic fields. She jumped up so high into the air that the moon started attracting her instead. “I will use the giant titan hidden in the moon to achieve what the titans of old only wish they could do!” What Claire didn’t realize is that she was one emerald short.

Emily and Ripley turned on CNN for coverage on the various Chaos Emerald heights. Six of the seven were confirmed gone with no indication that Claire knew the location of the last one. “Where is the last emerald, Emily? The internet claims it is hidden on the moon.”

“That’s a lie I posted as a failsafe if an ancient evil were ever to awake. The last emerald was actually broken in 1991 when someone dropped it. Consequently, the sheer power of Hulkamaniacs and Ultimate Warrior fans fused to form a new emerald in its place. We’ll need to convince John Cena to allow us the power of the Cenation: the inheritor of that power.” Ripley and Emily made their way to the Cena Signal to summon the invisible defender of justice. The swish of a hand behind them confirmed his arrive. “Mr. Cena, we need the Chaos Emerald Belt to save the world from an ancient evil with the potential to force you to pull a heel turn.”

Without a word, Cena vanished with a ‘YOU CAN’T SEE ME’ hand swish. “I guess we didn’t convince him.” Ripley sighed. A glint out of the corner of the eye caught her attention. “There it is!” She picked up the belt to discover one of Cena’s sweatbands below attached to a note.

“Use the power of ‘rising above h8’ to stop all of your enemies in their tracks. Friendship and determination are more powerful than an Attitude Adjustment.”

Ripley smiled knowing that there was a chance to turn Claire towards the good side rather than outright killing her. They could watch Space Jam together and have slumber parties. “Mom, what was it that you have to tell me about Claire? We need all of the cards on the table before we play the game!”

“Claire is your sister, Ripley. The time warp that made me younger temporarily had previously displaced her to an ancient civilization with no way back. She was only four at the time.”

“Did she look like that before the incident?”

“Yes. You see, you are both vessels for the damned divinity of the twin goddesses embodying good and evil. Claire became so dedicated to being the goddess of good that she became the one of darkness instead. Only you can save her heart from the DARKNESS that would corrupt her very soul.”

“Why does she need the Chaos Emeralds?”

“She’s going to use them to revive a terrifying monster in the moon prior to becoming a wicked mare of darkness.”

“Why is she going to turn into a horse?”

“It’s because all girls love horses. Therefore, all goddesses are horses.”

“How are we going to get to the moon before the summoning ritual begins?”

“We’ll take Shrek’s rocket. He owes me for some additional layers I installed for him.”

Ripley and Emily entered an onion-powered rocket that used renewable organic energy for propulsion. The journey was ogre soon enough when the rocket landed on the moon. Emily transformed into space octopus mode to remove her need for oxygen while Ripley relied on a high visibility vest to keep her warm on the moon. They saw Claire’s horrific ceremony in the distance. Ripley’s jet engine transformed into a rocket for maximum speed on the moon’s surface.

Claire intercepted Ripley before she could reach the titan birth rune circle. “Thank you for bringing the last Chaos Emerald, sister. Everything is going as planned!” She grabbed the belt, strapped it on like a saddle and began to transform. Claire had become the evil Nightmare Moon!

Claire had no idea why Emily was forcing her to read the inane story Ripley had written as her 18th Birthday present. It clearly indicated that there was a major disconnect between the sisters if the younger one was ripping plot conventions from My Little Pony and Sonic Adventure 2.

“Do I really need to finish reading this? I know she’s only 12, but this is awful.”

“Keep reading or else I’ll make it come true, ‘Princess Luna’.”

“Fine, I’ll keep reading this sorry excuse for a Tumblr blog.”
“Now the ceremony of darkness will begin anew! I will transfer my imperfections into you to corrupt you into the monster I am now. Then I shall restore the world to what it once was as its savior of light who still maintains some control over the powers of darkness.” Force lightning shot out of her horn causing great harm to Ripley. “You know this to be true, sister! Embrace your real self!”

“No, I won’t ever transform!” Ripley retorted. “I believe in me! I can rise above hate!”

“You don’t deserve to wield the kai-tana if you can’t even maintain yourself.” Ripley looked down in horror to see that she was a horse now as well. “You can’t banish me to the moon if we’re here, Celestia. [I’m Princess Celestia, by the way =)] We will have our battle of darkness and curses vs. light and praise here now.” Emily watched on helplessly as the fight began.

Celestia suddenly remembered that they were all reincarnations of moon goddesses from an era before humanity existed. The moon had once been a planet entirely full of ponies and other mystical creatures.

          “Is this really what you are encouraging in here while I’m away at school?”

          “I didn’t hear that, Claire. Then again, horses do have larger ears than most humans do. Does my little pony want a makeover?”

“Fine… I swear… This had better not end with a terrible Crush 40 song.”

She unsheathed the kai-tana with unicorn telepathy fighting magic. “I will fight the darkness out of you, Claire. We will break the cycle of sadness and broken sisterhood.” Luna’s horn then became a DARK ENERGY light saber blade.

Duel of Fates plays in the background once the sword fight starts. “The more we fight, then the stronger the Titan becomes!” Nightmare Moon mocked. “I intend to domesticate you as the first horse for another horse to ride. Also, Emily will be stuck in a fish tank.” Celestia returned the sword to its sheath. “Are you a larger coward than I considered you to be?”

“No, I am your sister. This sword may kill me on this day, but that risk is worth the effort of trying to save you from yourself.” She used all of her unicorn concentration to levitate the Cena armband over to Nightmare Moon’s horn. Instantly, the power of friendship began to overtake her. A whirlwind of moon dust obscured Nightmare Moon’s reversion to Princess Luna with Claire’s spirit. “See? I knew that I could save you from yourself.”

“Thank you, sister. I’m finally able to accept that I am a pony of darkness trapped in a human body that just so happens to be able to shift at will. I was a fool to think that I was a good guy when I tried to force everyone to obey me. Please forgive me, big sister.” Celestia smiled knowing that the master had now become the student. “We will need to deal with the titan, though. I unfortunately completed the summoning earlier in the day. The entirely moon will start cracking like a giant egg. We need to attack its core to make the titan into a replacement moon.”

“How will we do that?” Celestia asked.

“We’ll help you!” The sisters looked around to see that Emily had managed to bring President Obama, John Cena and everyone else who could help to the moon. The aura of friendship negated the need for oxygen. Winnie the Pooh handed the sheathed kai-tana to Celestia. “The kai-tana’s last meal will save everyone in the universe.”

“Let’s go, sister!” Princess Celestia and Princess Luna summoned the power of all the Chaos Emeralds to achieve their ‘polar opposite’ super forms. Only by knowing both ends of the spectrum can someone achieve the balance of light and shadow. Luna was now a bright shade of white while Celestia negated the whole polarity shift idea in favor of becoming completely gold. “Now I know what it feels like to be you, Claire.”

The entire moon started shaking with earthquakes as the titan began to emerge from the ground. Crush 40 started a live concert of “LIVE AND LEARN” to keep the sisters encouraged. They fought with the monster for five minutes straight until they were nearly out of rings. In a desperate move, they decided that one of them would need to pilot the sword into the middle of the titan to cause a major explosion.

“You stay… I’ll go.” Luna selflessly sacrificed herself saving the universe from her mistake. She did it because she had lived more in the last hour with her sister than she had prior to that magical reunion. Everyone in the world cried about how tragic the reunion had been for the sisters. Ripley was now a goddess who couldn’t bring back the person directly responsible for her ascendancy. =<

Written by Ripley Rees, Age 12

“I die in the end. Wait; let me rephrase to more accurately reflect what the hell I just read! I turn into an evil version of a My Little Pony character, make Ripley into that character’s sister, obtain redemption as a result of contact with a used armband and that leads to me sacrificing myself in space as a unicorn.”

“Yes, that is exactly what your sister wrote. Tell me, what do you make of this story?”

“How am I supposed to know? She’s the kid you WANTED around the house, isn’t she? I’m busting my ass in a European boarding school for most of the year. However, Ripley is perfectly content with sitting around the house writing this crap.”

“Claire, when are you going to realize that there are certain leniencies sisters must show for one another? I love you both and I aim to make the majority of our little family happy. You can go on rambling and raving about me all you want for the rest of your life. I will do everything I can to ensure you make your sister happy.”

“Bite me. She’s only my half-sister, anyway.”

“That does it. I said that I reserved the right to use transformation as a punishment and I’m going to use it right now!”

Emily had sent Ripley to bed hours earlier in an attempt to minimize the exposure to the commotion. Her bedroom door creaked open around 1:00 AM along with the sound of unfamiliar footsteps. Ripley fled under the covers expecting Claire to rant about her gift for the second time that night. “Who goes there?” Ripley finally asked after a minute of total silence from the visitor. “I’m sorry that my gift didn’t meet your high standards, Claire.” An unseen force began to pull away the covers. “I didn’t mean to make you mad.” After wincing for almost a moment, Ripley realized that the visitor was Princess Luna. She didn’t have any idea why someone did this transformation at this time, but it was exactly what she needed. “Sorry, I had you confused with my sister.” Almost on cue, the pony moved in to comfort Ripley. “I just want her to like me. She and mom don’t get along and I’m forced to choose a side. I could go on and on about my feelings.”

Emily knew that this arrangement would ensure that Ripley had to chance to vent to her little heart’s content while Claire was left unable to make any of her snarky responses.
This story provides deep insight into the character Ripley Rees. Read and enjoy. 
HeraldOfOpera Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2017
Wait, Obama is no longer president, but I'm pretty sure Gordon Ramsay is still alive! (Why is that the thing that bothers me?)
Jonesycat79 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Brilliant story!^^
at first it was chuckling inducing at the familiar tropes and story lines until the revelation of its author and intent in the 'real world' so to speak was revealed. It takes a skilled story teller to write something so childish yet so critical to character development at once. 
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Submitted on
April 1, 2015


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