Star Wars TG/TF: A Reflection of the 'Culture'

            [Tentative placeholder name] walked into their apartment after a long day of shopping.
 

BREAKING NEWS! Emily Rees has released NEW details of a NEW transformation. Let’s cut to an, already in progress, reaction to that announcement:

THE SHIFTING SHAPE – A TRANSFORMATION CULTURE PODCAST [Episode 88]

????: Hello, everyone and welcome to the 88^th Episode of SHIFTING SHAPE. As always, I’m your host Chase Sporano along with the usual suspects. Introduce yourselves to the audience.

????2: I’m Chuck De Jeuner bringing DA NOISE from the streets. *Presses a button on a 2002 Newgrounds soundboard. The exact sound is muted for copyright.*

????3: I’m Rich of CritiqueGadgetNorthAmerica with an exclusive DorkCube deal for you.

Chase: Rich, we’re going to hold those promotions until AFTER the main course today. Maybe you should use that LISTEN-IN voucher to get that audio book that teaches you how to pay attention.

Rich: If I wanted to hear Mein Kampff, I’d just ask a Trump supporter to read it to me. Chuck, put a funny sound there.

Chuck: I can’t since Chase wanted our completely RAW reactions to the new info.

Chase: Yes, we have a NEW piece of info from the recluse herself. Emily Rees posted a MAJOR tease of her NEXT BIG story in the deviantArt Transformation Cinematic Universe. Here it is:

“[Tentative placeholder name] walked into their apartment after a long day of shopping.”

Chase: What do you guys think? I’m blown away by all this info and have a few theories already.

Rich: The choice to keep the name a secret is a STANDARD for a high profile release like this. After all, there’s always a chance that some famous Youtuber or streamer will star here. ANYTHING involving Star Wars is guaranteed to succeed.

Chuck: What about the Freemaker Adventures?

Chase and Rich: What?

Chuck: It’s that Lego Star Wars show on Disney XD.

Rich: Wait, you ACTUALLY have cable? Come on, it IS 2017.

Chuck: How else am I expected to watch Walking Dead, all of the other dramas for our other geek podcasts AND the cartoons for FLASH-ers?

Chase: Duh, our sponsor TuTu. Pay $40 a month to watch live TV on your computer through EVERYONE’S favorite dinosaur media hodgepodge. Spend an extra $15 each month to replace ads with unskippable ‘blank media’ screens.

Rich: Back on topic, I have a crazy TF-Theory that might change everything. Are you guys strapped in?

Chase: TOTES.

Chuck: My body is ready.

Rich: What if, hear me out on this, the person transformed in the story ends up in a relationship with Emily OR one of the other characters? Wouldn’t that COMPLETELY change the dynamic while also adding some sex appeal for the female fans. Imagine how much attention deviantArt transformation would get if someone from Game of Thrones lands a major role.

Chuck: Me, personally, love the idea of Kit Harington as sort of a ‘nemesis’ for the shapeshifters to fight. Maybe he could be a ‘Wizard of Order’ or something else where we see him a LOT, yet he is untouchable.

Chase: He’d need a sidekick who is constantly transformed, though. Maybe they could get a little person to play that role.

Rich: So, Mini-Me from the Austin Powers movies? You can’t do Gary Coleman since he’s dead and Warwick Davis WAS in Ray.

Chuck: I could see a little person having trouble shopping, but that begs the question of WHO in the Star Wars series is tall enough that they might want to be?

Chase: Don’t forget that this is a TG, so there’s ALWAYS a chance it is a girl turning into a guy. Just think of all the lady-candy male Star Wars characters there are like Willrow Hood, Dexter Jettster, Yakface, Darth Bane AND Hayden Christensen’s version of Anakin Skywalker.

Rich: Let’s not jump to those conclusions since FtM is still more of a niche than genuine fans of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy movie.  

Chuck: Personally, I think that Emily might be setting up a series of TFs involving small people since Warwick Davis into Rey only makes sense.

Chase: Then who does Mini-Me become? Jyn’s off the table since she used them into that offsite trade.

Chuck: I dunno. Someone from Rebels? Oh wait, you don’t watch the cartoons.

Rich: You might as well be talking about Droids for as canon as THAT is.

Chase: It might be too soon and in poor taste to have Mini-Me become Princess Leia. I’m sure we all know how much of a problem it would be IF Emily used the slave outfit. It’s not like the harem slave aesthetic is REALLY popular in the TF interest or anything.

Rich: Maybe she’ll use Garfield from Clone Wars.

Chase: Now that we’ve settled on this story being about Verne Troyer turning into Ahsoka Tano, what do you think the TWIST at the end it? Emily DOES love to stick in twists that hint at a larger universe.

Chuck: I’m hoping for something that references the DC Expanded Universe in some way. 2016 might have been the year of Marvel, but 2017 will TOTALLY be DC’s year and her work should reflect that.

Rich: Gross. Hasn’t Harley Quinn been done to death?

Chuck: Don’t tell me that NEITHER of you watch the DC shows apart from Arrow and Flash. Fine, name the MAJOR female members of the Justice League apart from Wonder Woman.

Chase: Who cares *Abrupt cut done in post* I mean, Wonder Woman is SO great on her own that she doesn’t need any other women around.

Chuck: Black Canary and Hawkgirl.

Rich: Who? *Another abrupt cut* Thanks to the CW and TuTu, I’ve been able to catch up on ALL of my favorite shows. It can sometimes be so stressful keeping all of these wonderful characters in order.

Chase: Unfortunately, Chuck’s never mentioned before disease acted up and we had to replace him. Everyone say hello to our resident TF cosplayer master, Nerdii!

Nerdii: Thanks for the opportunity, you guys. That earlier discussion REALLY made me remember just how important exposure in the transformation community really is. Sure, sticking closely to exaggerated stereotypes CAN be problematic, but think of it like mixing MiO into water. Yes, the concentrate is nasty, but the mix is SO much better.

Rich: Who are you dressed up as now? Not that I am objectifying you in any way.

Nerdii: Isn’t it obvious? It’s the YouLikeDweeb ‘TF-inspired’ outfit that takes elements from your favorite shapeshifters and blends them with other fandoms. This is the ‘Ravenclaw Rebel’ robe set that meshes together from Harry Potter, Hunger Games and, of course, Emily Rees. It’s SO authentic to the character that it might as well be the authenticator for her Steam account.

Chase: What about the glasses and boots?

Nerdii: Oh, those are based on the girl Pac-Man from that CG Pac-Man cartoon from several years ago. They dumped… *Edit* dropped *Edit* generously gave away unsold merch in FandomCoffin a few months ago. These coincidences REALLY help people who are into twinning as a social movement AND a sexual fetish.

Chase: Oh my Stan Lee! We’re getting ANOTHER breaking development in the new story. Emily Rees has just NOW revealed the name of the person being transformed.

“Chuck walked into their apartment after a long day of shopping.”

Rich: This changes everything AND proves that the producers listen to this podcast. We’re so lucky to be as close to the pulse of the transformation interest that we actually impact it.

Nerdii: I missed the discussion earlier, but I have a theory. What if Chuck becomes slave outfit Leia?

Chase: It’s so stunning and brave for you to suggest that tribute to Carrie Fisher, RIP in Domino’s Pizza, at her prime.

Rich: Artist and performers’ rights are VERY important to us as long as they don’t offend anyone.

Chase: On that note, it is time to check some of your tweets and messages on our facebook wall. You can connect with us ANYTIME @ShiftingShapePodcast.

    -          @ShiftingShapePodcast >HE

    -          @ShiftingShapePodcast Dr. Pavel, I’m CIA. He wasn’t alone. You don’t get to bring friends.

    -          @ShiftingShapePodcast Don’t worry, no charge for them.

    -          @ShiftingShapePodcast HEY, CHASE! *someone will teleport behind you in 14 seconds*

Chase: Someone will teleport behind me? How ludicrous! I understand why some post memes, but..

*SUDDENLY, someone bursts through the wall of boxed Funko Pops! Behind Chase. He gasps wondering if this is a prank.*

Rich: This prank is going too far, bro? Is that one of your friends, Nerdii?

Nerdii: Not that I can recognize.

????: So, I heard that you guys like transformation. Aren’t I generous to make a special exception for all of you? ZAPS FOR EVERYONE! *The mysterious guest shoots out electricity in the style of electric judgment at Rich and Nerdii while also shocking Chase.* This IS what you want, right?

Nerdii: No fair! I never asked for this. Who could be this merciless?

????: They had it coming and you bastardized my style. Can’t you put the pieces together?

Nerdii: That’s impossible… You’re still in that vision quest.

????: Search your feelings; you know it to be true.

*In all matters including physical, Chase and Rich are useless.*

Nerdii: NO! You can’t be the real Emily Rees.

Emily: In the published work, yes, but look at that calendar over there. It is 2017 and you’re fretting over a retelling of the new status quo set last year. Isn’t Amelia enough to fulfill the ‘Emily ripoff’ quota?

Nerdii: Eeeep! I don’t want to end up like Elsa!

Emily: Kill you? That would be counter-productive. There are so many other things I could do with you.

*ENTERING CONTENT AREA THAT ATLUS HAS CHOSEN TO BLOCK. TRANSCRIPTION FORBIDDEN.*

Emily: After a LONG and detailed ordeal, I’ve dealt with ALL of those loose ends. I won’t need to check in on all of you again now that you’re all ‘repurposed’.

*In place of Chase and Rich are YET MORE Hoffi clones and in place of Nerdii is something far more pleasant.*

????: I-I look forward… to our friendship blossoming i-in the many years… ahead of us…   

*Emily pats Nerdii’s ‘replacement’ on the head.*

Emily: Now YOU need to figure out who BEST GIRL is from Persona 5 based on that dialogue exchange.

[This is nearly as canon as FemMC in Persona 3 Portable.]